


Head Over Heels, When Toe to Toe

by Annie D (scaramouche)



Category: To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before (2018)
Genre: Coda, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-09-20 02:54:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17014242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scaramouche/pseuds/Annie%20D
Summary: Peter and Lara Jean move on to phase two of their relationship, and clear up a few things. It's a world that’s post-contract, post-fakeness, and post-letters that were never meant to be sent.





	Head Over Heels, When Toe to Toe

**Author's Note:**

  * For [iamtheenemy (Steph)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Steph/gifts).



It’s Peter’s first time back at the Covey residence since Christmas. Everything looks in order: the lawn’s neat, the decorations are down, and Lara Jean’s bicycle of ultimate coolness is propped up by the wall near the living room window.

Peter tries not to feel self-consciousness. He has, after all, been here some four dozen-ish times in the past couple of months, and was even invited for the majority of those occasions. He’s invited for this visit, too, but just to be safe, he checks his phone again.

              If you’re late, Kitty picks the film.

              **Idk she got good taste**

              Say that to her face and she’ll take it as a challenge

              **Thats ok I get next pick so if she tries something funny she will know REGRETS**

Lara Jean hasn’t replied to that last message, but Peter isn’t worried. He can picture her reading it, and doing that thing with her mouth as if there are too many possible reactions inside her that are just bursting to come out but she won’t let them. (Whether from indecisiveness, or self-consciousness, or some other reason, Peter doesn’t know. But he hopes to, someday.) The most important take away is, of course, that Peter is supposed to be right here, this evening, ringing their doorbell.

Kitty answers. She’s beaming as the door opens, even before she sees that it’s him. “Hello.”

“Hey,” Peter says. “I was—”

“Lara Jean!” Kitty yells over her shoulder. “Your fake boyfriend is here!”

“Wait, what.” Peter follows Kitty into the house, pulling his jacket off as he does. He flails a hand out, trying to get her attention, but Kitty’s raced off and up the stairs, out of bounds.

It makes Peter feel better that Dr. Covey, who’s in the kitchen, looks just as perplexed as he does.

“Peter,” Dr. Covey says. “Nice to see you again.”

“Very grateful for it, sir,” Peter says. “Do you need some—”

“No, no, sit,” Dr. Covey say. “Just putting my snack bag together before I head out.”

Peter heads over to the living room – along the way nodding at the portrait of Mrs. Covey – where he drapes his jacket on the back of the couch. His phone’s still in his hand, and he starts tapping at it again.

              **Kitty called me your fake boyfriend**

**Am I your fake boyfriend again????**

“It’s a shame you couldn’t come over when Margot was still around,” Dr. Covey says.

“Yeah, I am sorry about that.” Peter knows Margot the same way that everyone in school is vaguely aware of everyone else, but she’d felt extra distant despite being a generally cool person all around. Maybe it was because Peter had mostly known her as the perpetually Grown Up One that Lara Jean (and Gen, once) looked up to.

“I didn’t know her that well at school,” Peter adds, “but Lara Jean talks about her a lot. I’dve loved to get to know her better.”

“Pretty sure it’s mutual,” Dr. Covey says.

Peter starts. “Really?”

“Sure,” Dr. Covey says. “Not that I make it a habit of listening in to the ladies when they’re talking shop. But I believe your name got quite a bit of mileage while Margot was here.”

“That’s…” Peter feels a little off-kilter, surprised and pleased. Nothing Dr. Covey is saying is actually new, and Peter knows that the sisters must’ve talked out all that was going on between them, settings things to right. Yet now Peter realizes that he’d assumed that the sisters had mainly talked about _Josh_ , the real crux of the matter, with Peter merely a side effect of that.

Peter’s fingertips tingle a little. He thinks back to yesterday, when Lara Jean posted an older photo of the two of them sharing a milkshake at the Corner Shop. On her own account. _Publicly_. Margot didn’t comment, but she did like it, which was enough for Lara Jean to bombard Peter with messages about how they were now truly Out and there could be no more take backs. Peter responded soothingly and supportively, and then asked if he could add Margot to his account, to which Lara Jean sent a two-word reply of _Okay sure_ which managed to encompass the entirety of her delighted terror at the prospect.

Over in the kitchen, Dr. Covey’s still busy with the rest of the food, so Peter looks back at his phone. Lara Jean hasn’t replied, so he continues:

**Didn’t ask you before but**

**How many fake boyfriends do you have**

**Have you had**

**I feel like I should know these things**

“I’ll be right there!” Lara Jean shouts over the second-floor landing. “Two minutes!”

“Two minutes!” Peter yells back. “Sorry, Doc.”

“That’s fine. It’s my cue to get out of here anyway.” Dr. Covey claps Peter’s shoulder as he passes. “You know the rules.”

“Got it.”

Lara Jean descends the staircase, laptop under her arm, just as Dr. Covey’s about to leave. Peter watches them chat from his vantage point, though truth be told he’s mostly looking at Lara Jean, with her ponytail and her smile and her wardrobe color combos that shouldn’t work together as well as she makes them.

Lara Jean, who keeps matters of the heart close to the heart, hyperanalyzing everything. As opposed to Peter, who’s kind of a mess and didn’t look too deeply into the reasons why he wanted what he wanted, until Lara Jean turned all of what he’d taken for granted on its head.

Peter’s brain helpfully props up a memory of Ms. Jainey’s English class and the word ‘besotted’, which looks like a word that should have a rude meaning but doesn’t. For here Peter is, besotted. Feels kinda nice, actually.

“Night,” Dr. Covey says. “You guys have fun.”

“Thanks, dad.” Lara Jean shuts the door after he goes. Then she turns, her free arm shifting from an awkward rest to an awkward plant on her hip. “Hey, Peter.”

“I’m serious, El-jay,” Peter says. “First the letters, now this. How many other fake boyfriends do you have?”

“Just the one!” Kitty yells from upstairs.

“Kitty!” Lara Jean exclaims. “I’m sorry, she’s… Do you want to go outside for a minute? Kitty can get the popcorn. And _not listen in_.”

“Sure,” Peter says.

They go outside, dropping the laptop in the living room along the way. In the backyard, Peter sees that Josh’s house is visible over the hedge, and his stomach lurches a little. _Not cool_ , Peter tells himself. His efforts are better spent focusing on Lara Jean, who’s bobbing a little on her feet in anticipation. Peter realizes that he hasn’t kissed her hello yet, but the window for that to have occurred naturally seems to have passed. Ah well, it can wait.

Technically, they’ve been dating since October. _Technically_ technically, they’ve been dating for four days. Anniversaries are going to be tricky.

“You want to go first?” Lara Jean says. “You look like you want to go first.”

“Okay, here’s what I got,” Peter says. “Kitty knows about the fake dating. Your dad does not.”

“Correct and correct,” Lara Jean says. “Everything came out when Margot was here. About the letters, the contract, you, Josh—all of it. I hate lying to my sisters, so I came clean.”

“I’m sure it was exactly that simple.”

“Yes. Precisely.” Lara Jean hovers for a second, uncertain, and then darts forward to loop her arms around Peter’s torso. She presses her forehead to Peter’s chest, and when she speaks next, her voice is muffled. “No, it wasn’t simple.”

Peter settles his chin on the top of Lara Jean’s head. It’s a perfect fit, as is the way his arms settle around her. “So Margot knows, too. That’s good.”

“Is it? It is.” Lara Jean hums. “You smell nice. Please don’t gossip with Margot about me behind my back.”

“Nah, I’ll just gossip with Kitty about you in front of your face.”

“I am okay with that.”

Peter laughs, and there’s vibration against his chest that tells of Lara Jean’s laughing with him. It’s not even the most intimate thing they’ve done together, but Peter’s neck grows warm, and the sensation is chased by a swoop in his stomach not unlike the rush of making a particularly spectacular save.

“All right,” Peter says. “So Kitty and Margot know. That’s fine. I’m glad you told them.”

“Uh,” Lara Jean says.

“It’s… not just Kitty and Margot? Who else did you tell? Chris?”

“Chris, as well.”

“ _As well_?”

Peter pulls back a little, and Lara Jean tilts her head up to look at him with a _deadly_ combo of over-wide eyes and the edges of her mouth pulled downwards. The effect strikes true, even as Peter chokes on a not-laugh and tries weakly to pull away.

“Don’t be mad,” Lara Jean says.

“Not mad. _Not_ mad,” Peter insists. “Just very confused. Josh?”

“Josh,” Lara Jean confirms.

Peter heart twinges a bit. It shouldn’t, he _knows_ it shouldn’t, because that’s unfair, and Lara Jean wasn’t even with Josh the way Peter was with Gen for all these years. Also, Josh is nice in a wholesome, straightforward way, unlike Gen who is… complicated.

“I wanted to talk to him about you,” Lara Jean says.

“About me?” Peter says, surprised.

“Because you’re very… It was all very confusing. What was pretend and what wasn’t, and I was enjoying being with you so much despite knowing logically that I shouldn’t, and it’s…” Lara Jean shrugs. “I couldn’t talk to Margot about it. Or Chris, really. So, Josh.”

“Ah.” Peter has a vivid flashback to Josh’s getting in his face. “That explains some things.”

“Oh, Lucas knows, too.”

“Lucas! Okay, okay, wait.” Peter unpeels himself from Lara Jean’s grabby hands and sets a polite two feet of distance between them. “That is a lot of people.”

“I’m sorry,” Lara Jean says in a small voice.

“You don’t need to apologize,” Peter says, suppressing a laugh. “You’re the one who put the contract together. I was fine with just shaking hands on it, but you made a big deal about getting it written down and signed, so now I’m wondering why you went through all that trouble if you were just going to not follow it.”

“It’s…” Lara Jean crosses her arms, then uncrosses them. “That’s…”

“Was telling everyone about the fake dating your way of breaking the contract because you knew it was bullshit and you were in love with me the whole time? Because I’d totally buy that.”

Lara Jean’s mouth falls open.

“Very sneaky,” Peter says solemnly. “Should’ve just come right out and tell me the moment you realized you were head over heels for me.”

“I have the worst not-fake boyfriend,” Lara Jean says.

“Not-worst not-fake boyfriend,” Peter corrects.

“Okay.” Lara Jean turns away a little, her face going squinty and weird. Peter stiffens, thinking maybe that he’d said something wrong by accident, but then Lara Jean says, “Do you ever get the feeling like you’re somewhere you’re not supposed to be?”

“You mean, lost?”

“No,” Lara Jean says with a laugh, “I mean, like you’re an intruder. Or an imposter, I guess? You got somewhere, or you’re with someone, but it’s like you forced your way there and any moment now people are going to call you out on it, so you can never really relax? Chris is all about faking it ‘til you make it, but I could never get a hang of that.”

“Yeah,” Peter says. “Of course. I’ve felt like that.”

“It felt like that with you, sometimes,” Lara Jean says carefully. “I mean, we were literally faking it, whenever we were at school and wherever, but that was _supposed_ to be uncomfortable. It reminded me that it wasn’t real. But then when it was just the two of us it’s… mmm.”

It’s difficult to see in the dim light, but Peter thinks she could be blushing. Maybe. Peter doesn’t dare move closer just yet to find out.

“But whenever it was just the two of us, no audience, I felt like me,” Lara Jean continues. “Just… _me._ Not a fake, not an imposter. I was getting comfortable around you, and it was scary. So I think I kept telling people about the contract because I wanted to remind myself that it existed, and I wanted other people to remind _me_ that it existed. Because then I wouldn’t… you know. Head over heels. To borrow a term.”

“A defense mechanism,” Peter says sagely.

“Peter,” Lara Jean says, rolling his eyes, “Gen aside, you literally told me to my face that you weren’t interested in me that way. A defense mechanism was just logical.”

“I said that forever ago!”

Lara Jean just looks at him.

“Yeah okay,” Peter says, deflating.

“Thank you.” It’s amazing, Lara Jean can just tilt her head just so, smile just so, and she’s the most beautiful person that Peter’s ever seen in his life. Even more amazing, she’s the most beautiful person he’s ever seen who’s now tilting her head up for a kiss. Peter obliges, because he is a very smart man who can make smart decisions.

“Come on,” Lara Jean says eventually, her breath warm against his mouth. “Kitty and Cary Elwes are waiting.”

“Carry what now?”

Peter puts her hand in his and is pulled along, back into the house that now smells of popcorn and butter. Lara Jean deposits him in the living room, where Kitty has opinions on the distribution of cushions and Peter’s job is to help her set everything in order.

“There.” Lara Jean hands out the various popcorn bowls. “Where’s my spot?”

Peter scoots over. “Prewarmed.”

“No flirting before the opening credits,” Kitty says. “I’d like to keep dinner down.”

Lara Jean slides into the space next to Peter on the couch, all cozy and smiling.

“What’s this?” Kitty’s opened up the laptop, and holding what looks to be a light purple envelope.

“Oh, that’s—” Lara Jean grabs at the envelope, which she stuffs underneath the throw pillow beside her. “That’s what was taking me so long earlier.”

“Is that a letter?” Peter says. “It looked like a letter.”

“You can’t send more letters, Lara Jean,” Kitty says. “You already have a boyfriend.”

“It’s _for_ the boyfriend,” Lara Jean says tersely. “This boyfriend.”

“What?” Peter says.

“Well, it’s…” Lara Jean coughs, squirming a little. “I wrote all those letters that I never meant to send, so I thought for the new year I’d turn over a new leaf and write letters I do mean to send. So that’s one. Which I will give you later, and you will only _read_ later, when you’ve gone home.”

Peter stares. “I have the most adorable girlfriend in the universe.”

“I said no flirting!” Kitty exclaims. She jabs at the play button and sets the volume up. “The vibe is this close to being ruined.”

Lara Jean is still squirming, embarrassed yet pleased with herself. When Peter lifts an arm, she tucks herself against his side and settles her head against his shoulder. Making herself at home, just as Peter’s making himself at home.

It’s almost as if the last few weeks didn’t happen. An old routine made new, except the context has changed and Peter doesn’t have to wonder anymore if all the boundary blurring was just his imagination.

He was so close to losing this. More terrifying, it was only by a quirky set of events that he stumbled into this at all, discovering that there was more to Lara Jean than that Quiet Girl with the Killer Fashion Sense, or the Quiet Girl that Used to be Gen’s Best Friend. And from there, stumbling into the realization that there was more that Peter himself could be, sharing with someone else what he never thought he’d ever be able to say out loud.

“Hey, Covey,” Peter says against her hair.

“Yes, Kavinsky?” she replies.

“I felt like me, too.”

It sounds like a non sequitur, the topic long past, but Lara Jean makes a small, pleased sound, and hooks an ankle over his.


End file.
